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Recharge your social battery, and your TikTok ring light.
Here I am playing games and napping like a dumbass, when I could be going viral.
I always associated alone time with being alone: drinking tea, watching Peep Show for the 1000th time, resisting Pornhub.
Nothing about wearing cheap pyjama bottoms or wolfing down a chicken Big Mac has ever made me think it could be content. Never while scooping up washing with my big toe, or assembling a makeshift gym bench out of chairs has my mind wandered to retention rates or revenue. When I aim to do nothing, I’m fucking serious about doing nothing.
Suffice to say, I’m probably not adept in the art of ‘alonemaxxing’, a phrase I literally just made up to describe what Gen Z ‘loneliness influencers’ are doing.
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The Atlantic, The Cut, and The Guardian have all been circling around the trend, which largely involves ‘candid’ shots of people alone, cooking, cleaning, lighting candles, staring out the window of their flat, the sort of stuff that has me looking forward to my impending paternity leave.
The only difference between they and I, is they’re sharing little snippets of their favourite nothingness-es on TikTok with overlaid captions, melancholy music, and sometimes with the smugness of a Sundance short about personal philosophy.
To make downtime performative is a paradox I personally have no interest in reconciling, but the fact it exists as a legit thing is wholly unsurprising.
Young people are beset by grim economic circumstances and online pressures that have left them skint, extremely lonely, and prone to lauding any avoidance of self-indulgence – drink, sex, sucking on AAA batteries, bailing on plans – as self-respect. It’s the sort of main character syndrome that Bridget Jones in her red pyjamas was giving off years ago, if you’ll excuse the reference. How millennial of me.
The difference, however, is that loneliness is sold as control. As with everything, there’s the more self-indulgent lot who film themselves teary eyed at the camera like Deji or Joe Weller, but the majority romanticise the peaceful, mindfulness angle we associate with avoiding burnout and scratching that lobe of the brain created by the pandemic lockdowns.
@manocutz love hate type thing
Then there’s the ‘day in the life’ types who post daily snippets of what an insular life, whether intentionally designed or not, looks like as a young person (with some polish, admittedly). This, I don’t mind, as some of it is largely about fostering genuine connection and coping with solitude.
Overall, it slides along the scale of self-care and self-mythology. Alone time is healthy, sometimes unavoidable, and rest is nice, but much of the content gives off an air of smugness, as though taking a night to veg on the sofa is proof you’ve transcended ordinary human need.
It’s half useful, half insufferable – and my generation does that formula quite well.
🤔 gen mindfuck
Gen Z is dating people they’re not attracted to on purpose, Psychologists Have Thoughts – vice
I thought it wasn’t possible to make modern dating any more unnerving, yet here we are. Vice has written a story on Gen Z and ‘practice dating,’ whereby young singles who aren’t romantically interested in someone (or flat out don’t fancy them) agree to go on dates as part of a self-improvement drive – like a mock exam. Psychologist Christina Psara argues it helps to cut out the fantasy projection of turning online matches into a soulmate, also suppressing the self-editing that naturally occurs when you’re desperate to impress someone, because you’re actually not. How reassuring.
It makes sense, but the flipside is that someone obviously doesn’t want to be the platonic buffer for someone else. All I can say is thank God I’m out of the game. Read more
I don’t want children. I do want children. What should I do? – vox
Vox’s advice column tackles the very normal, very relaxing question of whether you should create an entire person, like I did… twice. The reader is stuck between not dreaming of parenthood and worrying that being 70 and childless might feel sad, which is a lovely little emotional hostage situation. Instead of pretending there’s one pure answer buried inside everyone, the piece argues that parenthood ambivalence is often less about discovering a fixed truth and more about accepting that big life choices involve conflicting values. I’ll just put that boring cliché out there that’ll have no bearing on your thoughts whatsoever: It’s the best thing ever, provided you don’t mind being skint. Read more
👴🏻how-to unc
New study finds arts engagement to slow biological ageing – thred
Our own Flo has covered a piece that’ll be music to the ears of the Gen Z masses who lap-up de-aging advice like hungry hippos. A UCL-linked study confidently declares that engagement with arts and culture may slow biological ageing by up to a year, while those involved weekly with creative activities could slow the ageing process by as much as four percent. It’s no secret that painting or reading slow cognitive decline more than bingeing Come Dine With Me from the living room chair, but this is the first we’ve heard about staving off ageing biologically and not just preventing the mind from turning to mush. Here you go Nanna, you can paint your own ceiling this year. Read more
Why so many young people are training to be death doulas – dazed
All the watercolours in the world won’t prevent the inevitable when that time does eventually come, though. Peculiarly, Gen Z has a particular interest in that too, and we’re not talking about the Netflix-sponsored murder fascination we all have and loathe. Dazed explores how young people are increasingly interested in becoming death doulas, who support people and their loved ones through end-of-life care. We’re not talking medically, like a palliative care team, but emotionally. The piece believes this interest was piqued by living through the pandemic and witnessing such mass grief and overwhelmed healthcare systems. It believes that this tough period turned many young people away from inconsequential ambitions are towards work with real meaning and impact. Can’t knock that. Read more
