Main character or narcissism?
The first (and arguably more annoying to deal with) is the self-absorbed version. This involves having a view of self that is both warped and idealistic, then forcing it onto others through in-person interactions and on social media.
While being your own biggest fan is worthy of applause, I’m sure we can all remember a time we’ve sat down with someone who talked about themselves for an hour without stopping to ask how we are doing. Needless to say, it’s deflating.
Adopting this level of main character energy can result in feeling the constant need to be the centre of attention, as well as to prove your life is going considerably better than everyone else’s.
Committing to this type of main character energy 100 percent of the time can subsequently foster a kind of self-importance that results in treating others around you as side and supporting characters rather than individuals with their own storyline, needs, desires, and goals.
It should be unsurprising that long before TikTok and Twitter latched onto this life perspective, there were already tons of people exhibiting these qualities of being too self-centred to foster fulfilling relationships.
But before this was normalised online, society simply called them egotistical or narcissistic. That said, adopting main character energy shouldn’t be a slippery slope into negative behaviours. And luckily, it doesn’t have to be.
The positive side to main character energy
The second strand of main character energy has been labelled by psychologists as the ‘confident romantic.’
These are the Emily in Paris types, who use main character syndrome to appreciate small moments and blessings each day like a ray of sunshine streaming through a window, the first sip of a hot cup of coffee, or hitting every green light on the commute into work.
When good things happen, it’s about relishing in the moment and believing they’re deserving of it rather than demanding it. Romanticising life in this way – especially when things aren’t going well on a whole – has potential to make difficult times more bearable.
Becoming the main character of your life through this avenue can also be empowering. It gives you an autonomy, a sense of direction, and a reminder that you’re armed with the power to write each day however you want with a simple shift of perspective.
It’s true, to some degree, we are all the main characters of our own lives. In the whirlwind of today’s society which encourages us to display different versions of ourselves across numerous online platforms, it’s easy to forget we aren’t the centre of the universe at times.
But viewing yourself as the permanent protagonist whose storyline takes priority over others’ risks becoming overly self-indulgent and treating everyone else as a prop. This is a slippery slope into self-delusion which in the long term, isn’t fun for anyone.
When main character energy helps you to appreciate the little things and believe in the value you add to the world, it can actually help you be more present in your relationships and help to lift up the people around you.
You can be the main character in your own life and still be a supportive co-star in the lives of others. After all, most of the best films have more than one interesting character, right?
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