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Men have been sabotaging women’s pay-it-forward scheme by wrecking baby aisles and taking money intended for young mothers. Is this a clap-back against the unnecessary spectacularisation of generosity or against women experiencing privileges men have excluded themselves from by unequally distributing parental responsibility?
Across the US, women have been hiding money and gift vouchers among baby products in popular supermarkets as part of a new pay-it-forward scheme developed recently by TikTok users seeking to build a supportive community for mothers struggling to make ends meet.
Dubbed the ‘she deserved the purse trend,’ it began when 28-year-old Danaesha Gonzalez saw a purse abandoned between bottles of lotion and children’s medication while shopping.
Realising it must have been left by a mother forced to choose between what she wanted for herself and what she needed for her child, Gonzalez posted a video – now viewed over 4.6m times – with the caption ‘to the mothers who choose themselves last, you deserve the world tonight and always.’
On the back of this, women on TikTok have since filmed themselves leaving money, gift vouchers, and kind notes in lids of formula or tucked into diaper boxes for unsuspecting parents to find.
Despite the evident humanity that underscores this trend and the fact it’s encouraging individuals to feel culpable for the failings of the state, however, as is often the case it’s received backlash online.
@ginevraskin no hate to anyone who participated in it with good intentions✨🎀💗 #shedeservedthepurse #foryou #fyp #storytime @Rare Beauty @Huda Beauty @Charlotte Tilbury @elfcosmetics #blowthisup #viral ♬ original sound – Ginevra 💌
Many are arguing that although the idea behind it is inherently positive, it gives people an excuse to trash supermarkets in search of the gifts that are concealed there.
With this in mind, content creator Ginevraskin is urging people to carry out their good deeds offline, commenting on the detrimental ‘spectacularisation of philanthropy’ that’s amounted in widespread pandemonium.
She refers to the hordes of people who don’t need the money as much as those it was intended for who have, after watching generous influencers post their good deeds publicly, flocked to supermarkets to destroy baby products as they hunt.
Not only has this meant that parents can’t buy supplies for their children, but it’s also created unnecessary work for low-paid supermarket employees tasked with cleaning up the mess.
Concerningly, a significant majority of the culprits appears to be grown adult men who believe that because they aren’t directly involved in the trend, they’re being excluded.
