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Opinion – Sam Smith reaction proves androgyny is selective

β€˜No fat people’ is a comment I have often seen on Grindr profiles plastered in their bios as if some shining medal of glory – fatphobia inside the queer community is not uncommon. Sam Smith’s new music video is a victim of the same.

It was never easy to proudly attach the adjective β€˜fat’ to myself.

The term has long been used as a slur, a curse word, and a sign of shame. I still remember being told by a crush online that I was β€˜too fat’ for their liking. Later in life, my body told me there was enough hate already and there was no need for me to twist, turn, and morph myself a certain way just to fit in. I accepted my curves.

Despite my own personal progress, fatphobia inside the queer community remains prevalent. The response to Sam Smith’s latest music video is proof of that.

The track is called β€˜I’m Not Here To Make Friends’ and is from their new album β€˜Gloria’. The video features Sam in outfits of varying promiscuity as a party unfolds around them. It is racy in tone and embraces sexuality across the spectrum.

The video has received a flood of fatphobic remarks from both conservatives and the queer community, and it was horrific to see swathes of disapproval only a day after its initial release.

Such a large, negative response seems to imply that androgyny can only be flaunted on a body that’s deemed conventionally β€˜beautiful’. In order to be appreciated and glorified in the queer community, it seems pop stars must mould themselves to a particular standard.

Much of this standard has been shaped by popular media’s selective display of how queer people, couples, and relationships look.

Whether it be the perfect jawlines of TimotheΓ© Chalamet’s character in β€˜Call Me By Your Name’ or Manu Rios’s perfectly toned body in β€˜Elité’, we are routinely shown queer bodies of a certain type and have built up our expectations of love around an unrealistic ideal.

Perfect bodies, abs, muscles, sinew, pecs, smooth skin, hairless, perfect sex, and moans of pleasure are all things we have come to expect. Β In reality, many stereotypes attached to queer sexuality and sensuality do not happen in the real world.

Plus size people exist. We deserve love as much as everyone else does, and we don’t need to change ourselves or our bodies to fit an industry standard or narrative.

The performers in Sam Smith’s video – including the singer themselves – are real people. Many are not chiselled to fit into a box of stereotypical β€˜beauty’.

From daring, flamboyant fashion that reveals their curves, to its unapologetic showcase of free-fit dresses, Sam Smith shows beauty, sensuality, elegance, and love in their body.

Smith is not the first to endure queerphobic and fatphobic backlash for simply being fat, queer, and happy.

Responses to Lizzo’s music videos, for example, have been equally as visceral over the years. She has faced violent fatphobia for being plus-size, positive, confident, and unapologetic in her sexuality.

It took significant public backlash for people inside the queer community to step up and show appreciation for Smith too, much more so than some of their peers.

This positive counteraction of fatphobic bullying was sluggish compared to the attention Harry Styles received after his androgynous Vogue cover. Fans and LGBTQ+ listeners were far more rapid in singing his praises and denouncing unfair criticism, and this public bias should be questioned.

Why is it that androgyny or sensuality is appreciated only on a thin body and not on a plus-size person? Why should revealing outfits and β€˜sexiness’ only be limited to bodies that fit age-old beauty standards? Perhaps most crucially, why are we societally quicker to support and defend those that fit a specific definition of attractive?

Androgyny is not only for abled bodies, and fashion is not only for bodies that fit inside conventional boxes. Being comfortable in your body and authentically expressing yourself is beautiful. Sam Smith’s music is an ode to that.

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