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GTA VI will ruin relationships + Big Brother red flags

a polygon sort of polyamory

You can blow up planes with an RPG, rob drug-filled warehouses owned by mobsters, and plough a truck through a pedestrianised shopping district, but the absolute most dangerous thing you can do is engage in sexy time with the other half of the game’s protagonist duo.

Unfortunately, we live in an age where the prospect of virtual infidelity in Grand Theft Auto VI is enough to spark heated debate and, worse still, warrant a headline in a newsletter written by a schmuck like me.

And we’re not talking about messing around on Jason or Lucia in the streets of Vice City, either. Plenty of real-life people are getting heated about the thought of their other half engaging in the game’s relationship dynamics, and the word ‘cheating’ is being thrown around with more vigour than the junk of a strip club NPC.

All we know for sure is that the relationship of Lucia and Jason is central to the overarching narrative, and there have been reports that the connection can be nurtured or diminished through taking certain in-game actions. Rockstar hasn’t spoken in depth about any mechanics, though, and yet moral implications are popping off like assault rifle rounds.

The hypotheticals have proved divisive enough to prompt a whole ass YouGov survey involving more than 4,000 British adults. Six percent said they’d consider their partner pursuing a romantic relationship with a game character to be cheating, while 19% said they wouldn’t use that word, but wouldn’t be comfortable with it either.

Women were less forgiving than men, too, with 24% saying it isn’t technically cheating but is out of order, compared to 13% of men. Whether that’s a reflection of differing attitudes towards fidelity or simply the fact that more men have spent their evenings trying to shag fictional characters is anyone’s guess.

When it comes to this aspect of immersive gaming, it’s a funny one. Somehow people aren’t concerned that their partner is throwing haymakers at pensioners, or stealing ambulances, and the same level of concern never existed when Mass Effect players were shagging aliens, housewives were messing around on The Sims, or a select few Baldur’s Gate players were getting jiggy with bears (maybe there should have been).

It just goes to show that Grand Theft Auto is in a league of its own, once again. There’s so much hype surrounding the realism and recreational aspects of the game – not to mention the fact that everyone will be playing it – that the line between fictional gameplay and real-world intent are blurred for some.

If your partner walked in on you laughing at hexagonal butt cheeks in a San Andreas strip club back in the day, you’d have both shamelessly chuckled. Recreate that scene in November 2026 with ray tracing and photorealistic character models, and the reaction from both parties will probably be different. Particularly, the hue of the player’s face.

It’s mad to think that Grand Theft Auto VI could genuinely cause trouble in paradise for some solid couples, but the technological leap this game represents is clearly stirring up the same insecurities around virtual intimacy that we’ve already seen from studies on AI chatbots.

Maybe this is the test your relationship needs. Just make sure to trade quick resume for the hard reset routine.

rules of engagement

We’ve spent so long banging on about love at first sight that friendship has been left to do the far less glamorous work of developing gradually, usually over several awkward conversations and a mutual dislike of someone else. But what about those rare occasions when you meet somebody and immediately know you fuck with eachother (not literally). Dazed has decided friendship chemistry needs its own moment, examining how in times where dating and romance can feel so transactional, that our most genuine connections might just be platonic. An initial physical attraction ain’t exactly cosmic, you sickly bastard. Read more

Would you let strangers pair you on an app? – cosmopolitan

Speaking of dystopian and transactional, how’s about we don’t even bother looking for prospective partners ourselves anymore? Rivet is an emerging dating app and its USP is that your friends, or even strangers, can suggest matches for you – like anyone has the energy to look out for anyone other than numero uno. On paper, the idea of doing away with an algorithm that knows you like 6ft4 beefcakes or BBLs is a novel one, but there’s arguably enough disillusionment already surrounding online dating. With all the weekly headlines about unwitting daters being used as trial runs or merely filling an evening, it doesn’t make the process sound any less terrifying to surrender the reins. The AI ad doesn’t exactly scream genuine connection, either. Read more

misogyny in the mainstream

Big Brother fans call for ITV to “step in” over Omar’s behaviour towards Rhianna – digital spy

Big Brother has always relied on putting incompatible personalities into a house and waiting for people to lose their rag. It’s undeniably toxic, but there’s usually a faint line between the just about acceptable and genuinely menacing. After last night, however, people are claiming a simple chastising in the diary room won’t suffice. Contestant Omar has come under fire for his treatment of fellow housemate and romantic interest Rhianna, and a wave of complaints about domineering behaviour and gaslighting are flooding into ITV and Ofcom. Some are saying it’s the most concerning scenes they’ve witnessed since the show’s inception. That’s a bold statement given the chaos of the noughties, but the whole situation made for very uncomfortable viewing. Over to you ITV. Read more

Opinion – we’re still justifying misogyny under the guise of ‘comedy’ – thred

Shane Gillis has managed to remind everyone that being deliberately offensive and being funny aren’t necessarily the same thing. During his recent Saturday Night Live monologue, the comedian described women wearing shorts at the gym as ‘whores’, prompting criticism from the likes of Dan Levy and the inevitable chorus of people insisting that nobody can take a joke anymore. Our own Flo Bellinger argues that the issue isn’t whether comedians should be allowed to offend, but why base misogyny continues to be excused as harmless entertainment offering nothing but shock value. While comedy should absolutely be allowed to push boundaries, audiences are equally entitled to point out when the material is cringe  or just plain shit. This undoubtedly was both. Read more

disturbing the peace

Can Andy Burnham beat Britain’s headphone dodgers? – the guardian

You’ll only ever hear them if your own headphones die, or if you’re half cut on the transport home at 2:00am, but those who choose to play music out loud or moronically swipe TikTok videos at full volume are a scourge to society, and a threat to the fabric of good old British reserve. Perhaps it shouldn’t be top of the political agenda, but Andy Burnham concurs and has launched a whole campaign against ‘headphone dodgers’, encouraging people to stop being so fucking selfish and turn down their crap music. Currently, we’re talking stern posters and potential fines over tear gas and community service, which, knowing London and Manchester all too well, is unlikely to make a dent. This is why people can’t have nice things. Read more

Lime bikes are apparently for jousting now – the independent

Dodging piles of Lime Bikes clustered all over London’s streets felt like jousting anyway, but now people are doing the actual thing. Two blokes clad in cheap medieval get ups were having at it in London Fields over the weekend, attempting to knock eachother off public rental bikes with makeshift lances while hundreds stopped to marvel at the sheer skill of the melee on show. The whole thing was organised by artists Jack Carden and Camtholomew the First, whose stupid idea somehow snowballed into a genuine public spectacle. Lime has since clarified that its bikes aren’t intended for jousting, presumably after an intern in the PR department was forced to type those words into an official statement. Peak. Read more

We hope you enjoyed this edition of The Common Thred. Thanks so much for engaging with our content!

PS: If you enjoyed this, you might just enjoy our sister newsletter, The Gen Zer.

All the best for the rest of the week!

Jamie

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