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What is the ‘Gen Z stare’ and is it a real problem?

Millennial TikTok users are taking to the platform to express their grievances about the conversation-halting deadpan look they receive while interacting with young people. Is this a real thing, and if so, what does it mean?

It’s just another day on TikTok, and young people are being dragged for their apparent ‘lack of social skills’.

Millennials are calling out what they’ve dubbed the ‘Gen Z stare’ – the blank faced, deer-in-headlights look and blunt responses they receive while engaged in what are supposed to be normal, everyday interactions with young people.

The first to go viral for raising this behavior is TikTok user Riley Despot, who experienced the Gen Z stare while chatting to her daughter’s golf instructor.

Despot described enthusiastically thanking the instructor and asking clear questions about payment, only to be met with long pauses, a lack of eye contact, and vague one-word responses. She said the interaction left her ‘so confused,’ while taking care not to vilify all of Gen Z or paint them all with the same brush.

With thousands of others chiming in to say they’ve had similar experiences, it’s worth asking where this behaviour stems from and what – if anything – it means.

When attempting to explain the Gen Z stare, the low hanging fruit is obviously an overuse and over-reliance on technology.

Young people are often championed for being digital natives, having spent their formative years in front of many different screens. They know the ins and outs of all the latest tech, and adapting to new features on digital platforms is basically second-nature.

But all this time interacting with other people online instead of in-person might be taking its toll.

Even for social butterflies, making eye contact and small talk can be difficult sometimes, especially when it’s with a total stranger. If Gen Z has most of their conversations through a screen or with people they know, then being engaging and expressive while face-to-face with someone they don’t know isn’t going to come easily.

One Reddit user describes their experience of the Gen Z stare in public. ‘I was at Home Depot buying paint for a wall in my house I was fixing, and the kid [who worked there] was having a conversation with his buddy. I asked him for help and just got back the stare for like 5 seconds. Glad it’s not just me.’

Compassionate responses describe this stare as ‘buffering’. In other words, a conscious pause that grants the person a moment to understand what’s being asked of them, even if they know it comes across as a little abnormal.

There is, however, another point worth considering, which is that Gen Z may simply struggle to socialize. After all, they lost a few key social years to Covid-19.

While previous generations spent day after day in classrooms, at lunch on the playground, and at friends’ houses during weekends, Gen Z was huddled up at home for months on end like the rest of us.

Given that social skills take thousands of hours to develop and practice – and that adolescence is that critical period for developing these skills – it shouldn’t really come as a surprise that Gen Z haven’t fine-tuned this ability.

It may feel like a lifetime ago, but we’re barely five years out from the pandemic. It’s possible that we’re only beginning to realise some of the major social impacts and generation gaps caused by prolonged lockdowns.

But why not ask Gen Z themselves?

Steam Workshop::Donkey staring Shrek 8K

Discussions on Reddit and comments on videos tagged with #GenZstare will reveal several suggested explanations.

Some young people dismiss the trend, saying it’s overblown and meaningless. They see it as just another way for ‘bored Millennials’ to criticize the generation that came after them, like past narratives that Gen Z needs to stop oversharing, taking mental health days, and quiet quitting from their jobs.

Other young people agree that the Gen Z stare is a real thing and that it happens within their friend groups. They describe it as a disconnect where the person goes blank-faced because things are getting overwhelming, annoying, or there’s a lot of pressure on them to produce a reply.

Some young people who’ve witnessed this amongst their peers believe that people just don’t know how to socialize anymore, which could very well be the a result of years of isolation during pandemic combined with our near-constant use of technology.

Not to mention, the mental health crisis is seriously impacting young people, and this is considered when some young people try to explain the Gen Z pause. ‘I think our generation is done with [being] fake and genuinely hates people,’ writes one TikTok commenter.

Other replies say ‘All Gen Z knows is be burnt out, have depression, crippling anxiety, mumble, and stare,’ while another says this IDGAF attitude stems from being ‘tired and dead inside. And the older people act like this wasn’t predictable.’

When it comes to receiving a deadpan response in the workplace – where most examples come from – young people point out they are so burnt out from dealing with ‘zero common sense customers all day’ that they need to pause and collect their thoughts instead of cussing someone out.

In other words, a response to something that doesn’t deserve a response.

Still, older generations have dealt with the pains of customer service for years too, and some of them say the Gen Z stare is different.

‘It’s not just a customer service stare. It’s blank. no emotion or reaction. Just flat affect. It’s like the brain has a delayed processor or a short circuit. It’s a long awkward pause before responding. It’s not the resting bitch face people think it is. It’s different,’ writes one Reddit user.

One possible explanation is that Gen Z is fed up with a lack of employment opportunities and the current state of the world. They believe they ‘aren’t being paid enough to be bubbly at work’ given that they’ll never be able to afford homes or pay off their student debt. They add that they are ‘tired and devoid of rest and hope,’ and simply working to survive.

Despite acknowledging the struggle, many don’t wish to normalize the Gen Z stare or (as older gens see it) being blunt and rude. They argue that being depressed or anxious isn’t a good enough reason to not be polite or to avoid speaking when being spoken to.

For these individuals, emphasising courteousness and kindness comes above the selfishness of leaning into your moods and being cold towards others.

Finally, the real-life impact of the Gen Z stare could be blown out of proportion.

Teens are known for being moody and difficult to chat to, with an inner world that is complex and confusing. One Reddit sums it up, saying that there is ‘nothing new under the sun’ and that young people have been perceived as giving ‘vacant looks’ for time immemorial.

So maybe the Gen Z stare points to something more sinister. Perhaps it is something we need to seriously consider, given the social isolation and mental health challenges young people are facing today.

Or maybe the internet has simply given adults the opportunity to home in on weird teenage habits and quirks that they once had, but forgot about.

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