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‘Would you rather be stuck in the forest with a man or a bear?’ is the intriguing theoretical discussion that played out on social media in May. Met with nearly complete unanimity among women, many men tellingly reacted with the kind of gaslighting and deflection that’s painfully familiar to survivors of sexual assault.
If you were alone in the forest, would you rather encounter a bear or a man?
This hypothetical question, first posed by Screenshot HQ via TikTok in May, has been making the rounds on social media all summer.
Netizens have engaged in a debate that highlights just how little men understand about the lived experiences of women.
Nearly all women have unironically opted for the bear. As a result, a substantial cohort of men have reacted by gaslighting and deflecting blame, a pattern of behaviour that’s all too familiar to survivors of sexual assault.
But why is the bear a favourable choice, and why has this question resonated so strongly online?
Why the bear?
‘Because if it attacks me everyone will believe me,’ wrote @snacosos on X. ‘Also nobody would ask what I was wearing,’ replied another user.
‘The bear won’t attack without provocation and even if it did I feel like the process is faster,’ commented @mazie_wazie on the original post.
‘I know a bear’s intentions. I don’t know a man’s intentions. No matter how nice they are.’
These are just some of the utterly depressing responses to Screenshot HQ’s hypothetical question, highlighting the fact that, for women, it’s a no brainer: a strange man is undeniably a threat. This is something ingrained in us from birth.
@yoursocialbestiee ⚠️This video could save your life so girls please watch the full video because it’s so important we keep ourselves safe!!! #saftey #survivaltips #survivalhacks #girlsafety #womansaftey #fyp ♬ original sound – 💅YourSocialBestie🫶🌸
We’re told to stick together, to not drink too much on a night out, to not jog alone in the dark, to watch carefully for a shadow that’s not our own to appear beneath streetlights, to never listen to music too loud when walking, to lock our car doors as soon as we get in, to always carry a rape alarm, to not wear a ponytail because it’s easier to grab than a bun.
The list goes on.
With this in mind, is it really that surprising that women would prefer to be lost in the woods with a large beastly animal that could maul and maim them?
It might sound absurd, but it draws attention to how woefully under-addressed women’s safety remains.
Three years ago, when Sarah Everard went missing, this same discourse dominated public conversation, tapping into widespread concerns regarding the gender-based abuse that we face on a daily basis.
At the time, findings were circulating that 97 per cent of women in the UK aged 18 to 24 had been sexually assaulted and that most had little-to-no faith it’d be dealt with by authorities if reported.
On a broader scale, a similar study uncovered that one in three women across the globe had been subjected to physical or sexual violence in their lifetimes (the data today paints a parallel picture).
Though this sparked extensive outrage and calls for the issue to be confronted once and for all, that women are choosing the bear in 2024 is proof that absolutely nothing has changed; we’re still part of a society in which living in fear is normalised, as is the longstanding culture of victim-blaming.
