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Are your partner’s social habits clashing with your own? You might be in a ‘party gap’ relationship.
There’s been plenty of chatter around ‘swag gap’ relationships recently. This colloquial chasm between lovers – defined by one’s sense of style and the others’ lack thereof – entered the zeitgeist thanks to high-profile couples like Hailey and Justin Bieber.
But the latest romantic clash comes in the form of a party. Specifically, whether one half of a pairing is spending far more time socialising than the other.
The ‘party gap’ relationship is one in which both parties (cough) enjoy drastically different forms of ‘going out’. From extroverts dating introverts, to those with huge friendship circles sharing their bed with lone wolves.
These unlikely pairings are becoming more common as Gen Z’s relationship with alcohol and clubbing starts to shift, but can they survive the so-called ‘party gap’? And is navigating one more trouble than its worth?
Speaking to Dazed, psychotherapist Rachel Wright says this topic is coming up more regularly in her work with couples. ‘One partner thrives on stimulation, spontaneity and social energy, while the other recharges through rest or intimacy at home.’
Crucially, Wright says, ‘the conflict is rarely about the partying or going out itself’ but rather ‘what those choices represent to each person.’
introverted romantics be like i’m gonna find my soulmate but i’m not leaving my bedroom to do it
— ً (@omgsidewalks) October 14, 2025
One person may see partying as a form of connection and relief, while the other views it as a risk or means of avoidance.
‘When the difference stays unspoken, resentment builds quietly.’
I’ll admit I’ve always been the introvert in my relationships – both platonic and romantic. I find it hard to stay out past 10pm and would choose a fresh morning over a fun evening (with the odd exception).
But however much I value my quiet cosy time at home, I’ve never been drawn to people who share my preferences. I love outgoing, sociable individuals who are full of energy. I love people who enjoy going out –and not just that: I’m particularly fond of people who are regularly the last person standing.
I have no idea why this is. And as Rachel Wright suggests, it has caused countless problems within my friendships and partnerships. Perhaps I hope spending most of my time around someone who differs from me socially will bring me out of my shell a bit more; push me outside my comfort zone and drive me to indulge in social situations I would normally avoid.
