As they did with the Man vs Bear debate, straight men have once again tried to satirise one of women’s online trends, and it’s only made them look worse.
The #WomenInMaleFields trend that dominated social media not long ago satirises behaviours associated with toxic men and the dating habits they perpetuate.
The general idea is: women overlay a photo/video of themselves with text quoting a heard-before excuse, as if they were the man in a heterosexual relationship.
For instance, one post that went viral read “he was crying in bed so I said ‘here we go again, I have work in the morning’ and turned around and fell asleep”.
Another reads,“When m*n are in my way, I say “excuse me sweetheart” and then touch their waists”.
The trend exploded. The result was that more than 220,000 women posted using the hashtag and felt seen by other women.
Creators of these posts found a sense of solidarity in an online space where they could make fun of the misogynistic behaviour many of them experience on a regular basis.
Millions of viewers liked the clips, writing things like “relatable” or “omg this happened to me” in the comments.
Perhaps this trend was unfairly representing men in many instances.
It may not be all men, but consider that millions of women could relate to these posts. That makes it seem like a big enough problem, no matter what kind of girl math you’re using.
We saw a similar sense of female solidarity earlier last year with the “she deserved the purse” trend.
Women were “paying it back” by leaving money, gift cards, and other gifts for unsuspecting mums to find in the baby aisles of their local supermarkets.
Many men reacted negatively to the “she deserved the purse” trend, tearing apart baby aisles in order to find the cash they believed they deserved more.
Needless to say, these aisle wreckers didn’t stop to consider that their inadequacy as a parent might be what was preventing them from being left money to find while shopping for products for their own child.
Enter: #MenInFemaleFields.
In response to what I, and apparently lots of other women, found hilariously relatable, men have again reacted not so well to women’s ability to laugh at their own misfortune.
What’s funny about this post is that he hasn’t understood the trend. He’s completely missed the joke.
When women make fun of men’s behaviour, it’s a criticism of a legitimately disrespectful form of behaviour such as lying or cheating. What this TikTok user has challenged a woman’s right to refuse sex, as if that was something unreasonable.
On the other hand, some users may have a point when pointing out that men are not the only ones who perform poorly in relationships.
Still, we should acknowledge the crucial gender differences in responses to this trend.
The different interpretations call to mind the infamous quote by author Margaret Atwood: “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill (or rape) them.”
So when we say “male fields,” we mean the cultural and social space dominated by men who’ve been oppressing and abusing women for centuries.
The reason why there’s no #MenInSTEM, the format from which this hashtag is taken, is because, like with most other places, they’re already there!
Other men in on the #MenInFemaleFields trend have responded by slut-shaming women by using the hashtag to post text like: “when she brings up my past so I hit her with “we weren’t even together so why does it even matter”.
No doubt, if women in their lives brought this up to them, they’d turn to the Schrödinger’s Douchebag tactic of gaslighting.
This is when someone delivers something in a vaguely jokey tone that allows them to reinforce the seriousness of their statement or claim that it was only a joke, depending on how it’s received by their audience.
In other words, an excuse to be a douchebag.
But male TikTok users who have adopted the trend and injected misogyny into it missed something crucial. Their ignorance has made their adaptation of the trend backfire, leaving them looking stupid at best and predatory at worst.
On one hand the #womeninmalefields fosters a sense of solidarity and community amongst women. However, like the infamous ‘man vs bear’ debate, the subliminal message of this trend is intended not for other women, but to open men’s eyes.
Part of the reason why so many of us are finding this trend so hilarious is that it’s so relatable after all. You’ve got to laugh or you’ll cry.
The #womeninmalefields trend, and moreover men’s alarming response to it, only drives home the point that until men’s behaviour towards women changes, neither will our response to their behaviour.
Annie (She/Her) – Originally from Newcastle Upon-Tyne, Annie’s writing focuses mostly on class and feminist issues, with a particular interest in sex-culture, identity politics, and current affairs. She studied both her undergraduate and postgraduate degrees in English literature at the University of Manchester. (Yes, it was a lot of reading. No, it didn’t ruin books for her). Follow her on Twitter or Instagram, or feel free to get in touch via email.
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