0 comments
Less 20-somethings are getting married today than ever. As Gen Z ditches wedding rings, it begs the question: what has changed?
There’s little I love more than the sweet sound of an orchestra playing a doting love song, as a couple makes it down the aisle, ready to make the ultimate commitment and say: ‘I do’. Yet nowadays, it seems like my generation is more inclined to say ‘I don’t’ to the idea of marriage full stop.
While I once imagined my early-to-mid-twenties would be full of engagement parties, bridal showers, and even possibly baby showers, I’ve come to realize that for Gen Z, marriage isn’t the be-all and end-all. At 24-years-old, my friends and I joke about marriage as something that we can’t foresee happening for a very long time, and possibly not ever.
Is it that chivalry is dead and less people are marriage material? Or is it that dating apps and social media have made it feel impossible to settle? Or is it that people in their twenties would rather take this rare, sacred time to travel the world on their own terms without having romantic commitments? Let’s unpack.
36-years-ago in 1990, the average age of women getting married in the US was 23.9 and for men 26.1. Growing up in the early 2000s, it seemed that the twenties were a prime time to lock in and advance to that seemingly natural next step into adulthood.
However, currently in the US, the average for first marriages is 28.4 for women and 30.8 for men. At both the top and bottom end of my generation, it’s less likely that we are tying the knot and instead embracing something funky and fresh: singlehood, situationships, or having a long term partnership without marriage on the agenda.
There seem to be many factors in this matrimonial mystery, but one that glares in bright red light to me is the rise of the internet, specifically social media and dating apps.
Prior to the invention of dating apps in 1995, people were forced by circumstance to put on a brave face and work towards meeting their partners in real life. Naturally, in real life, one can only see so many options for themselves.
Now, with the existence of the internet, we’re being conditioned to become more selective, as we swipe through thousands of potential partners. With the pool of prospective lovers continually growing, those in relationships are more likely to think about whether the grass could be greener, and those without can feel over faced by the level of competition.
The dating app situation is a frustrating paradox. Take this, in New York City alone, there are over 100,000 men in their twenties on dating apps, and yet for me, it still feels nearly impossible to find a guy on there that I really like.
With so many options available, commitment can feel harder to justify. If people think there is always someone else to meet, they may keep playing the field instead of settling down. As a 24-year-old, I am lingering in left field: not quite making a catch, yet not ready to quit the ‘game’.
