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Online dating is changing human relationships

With online dating forming the backbone of Gen Z and Millennials’ love lives, swiping habits could determine the very fabric of our future societies.

Romantic relationships are how we persist as a species. With whom we procreate has cemented human expansion, united tribes, and ensured genetic diversity since time immemorial. Beyond an instinctual level, it’s had a huge effect on how our economy works, how we structure our communities, and even how we build real estate and structures. It’s a wonder, then, that the rising tide of online dating has gone largely unanalysed in academia, finding a home mostly in the bylines of modern sociology papers.

Whilst researchers have determined that around one third of all marriages in the west today spawned from an in-app meetings, little thought seems to have been given to the effect this may have on global demographics, and on what our children may not only act like, but look like.

That is the power of the new game we’re playing. Dating apps can link people and societies that never would have interweaved naturally, creating a future that’s not as clearly stratified. At least, that’s what we’re hoping they’ll do. But the tendency for humans to form tribes could also mean a backlash against catch-all apps like Tinder and towards a more niche selectivity. We’re already seeing this with the spike in ‘exclusive’ dating platforms that select participants based on income and social clout.

In many ways dating apps are the perfect lens to view one of the 21st centuries most complex questions: does the internet encourage globalism, or does it simply give us more groups to divide ourselves into?


Mating via Multiculturalism

In a study conducted in 2018, Ortega, along with Philipp Hergovich from the University of Vienna, became some of the first people to study social integration via online dating. In their own words, ‘they ‘investigate[d] the effects of those previously absent ties on the diversity of modern societies.’

Their findings are easily extrapolated, though still crucial. Whilst in the past humans married people with whom they were in some way already connected – through school, church, or family – online dating has greatly increased the chance of a romantic connection between complete strangers. Like the rogue wire pushing its way to the other side of the fence, we end up bridging communities that otherwise would have stayed separate. For example, communities of disparate class or ethnicity.

Since interracial marriage was finally okayed in all US states by the Supreme Court in 1967, instances have been gradually increasing – from around 3% in the 60s, to 9% in 1995. However, Ortega and Hergovich found that in 1995 this steady diagonal growth line begins to suddenly and dramatically curve upward. Three guesses as to which year the first popular online dating platform was created.

They found that the increase becomes even steeper around 2006 – the time when well-known online dating platforms like OKCupid emerged. Between 1995 and 2015, interracial marriages rose from 9% to 17%.

The study adds that you’re more likely to date someone from a different race if you’re dating online by a factor of 7%. That might not seem like a huge difference, but over time it’s bound to have a significant impact on humanity’s colour palette.

Bottom line: through online dating Gen Z and Millennials are passively doing more for society-wide racial integration than many leaders of the Civil Rights movement ever dreamed possible. Our potential matches now exist in something of a vacuum – an endless virtual marketplace where there are more possibilities than ever before. Singles can shop around and build a database of prerequisites that goes beyond geographical proximity and similar parentage.

Currently there is no official data as to the ethnogeography of these apps, but it’s easy to guess that they’re predominantly white and predominantly upper class (the latter often follows on from the former given class mobility stats in modern America). On Raya, the well-heeled and uppity swipe unencumbered by the hoi polloi. The founder of the program has sated his utopian vision of a global dinner party, a ‘digital Davos’, for dating. But, as with most utopian visions of the past, this has potential unintended consequences.

If Raya is the type of app that we all secretly desire to be on, then it could be that online dating serves the purpose of knocking down certain barriers only to build others up. Though we evidently support racial integration more than we used to, the future could have tiers of a different kind. Dating apps could become the new rungs of the social ladder.

It’s a worrying thought given how rampant wealth inequality already is. A possibly reality we certainly don’t want is one where we unintentionally create a new digital aristocracy.


Sealing the deal

The potential of dating apps to cause radical divisions in the fabric of society puts free-to-access apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Badoo in a new light. By using these wider pools of potential dates rather than aspiring towards exclusivity, we work to cut across lines of race, class, and everything else that divides us. At the risk of giving credit where it’s not due, your average Tinder swiper is doing their part to keep society more open, more diverse, and less stratified.

The ramifications of universally accessible and free dating apps for emerging markets is also hard to overstate. Family dynamics permitting, they could provide a whole host of new options for people living in rural communities, or for those who otherwise would be forced into arranged marriages.

Even if we do choose to use apps with more specific requirements, such as JSwipe for the Jewish community, there’s still something to be said for leaving our preconceptions at the door. The level of discrimination we’re willing to accept is still up to us as no app can be successful without users.

We’ve yet to determine the name of this vast global sport we’re playing, or what the final boss level will be. But let’s hope it’s less of a snobby, royalty-based medieval Reigns game, and more of a vast, experimental melting pot. Either way, you can be sure that the internet is where the future of human relationships lies. We’d best be paying attention.

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